Miss me, but let me go
When I come to the end of the road,
And the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free.
Miss me a little – but not too long
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared.
Miss me – but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take,
And each must go alone.
It’s all a part of the Master’s plan,
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely, and sick of heart,
Go to the friends we know,
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds.
Miss me – but let me go.
Anon
Our Sympathy
The staff of Gateshead Health NHS Foundation Trust wish to extend to you our sympathy and condolences in your bereavement.
The days immediately following your bereavement can be a confusing and bewildering time. Not only are there all the feelings and emotions of grief to cope with but there are a number of practical matters that need your attention. We hope this leaflet will help and assist your during this time.
Department of Work and Pensions leaflet DWP28 “What to do after a Death” gives comprehensive advice and details about the formalities involved. If you have not received already, the leaflet can be obtained from your local Job Centre Plus office or contact Bereavement Services on 0191 4452647.
Registering a Death
On Being Informed of a Death
You will require a completed Medical Certificate which of Cause of Death (MCCD) in order to register the death.
Before the certificate can be issued, the attending doctor will need to discuss the Cause of Death with the duty Medical Examiner (ME). The ME is a senior doctor who can provide information about your relative’s illness and care. The duty ME will also discuss the Cause of Death with the Next of Kin or person responsible for arranging the funeral. This will provide families with an opportunity to raise any questions and/or concerns before the MCCD is completed. Please Expect a Call to Discuss This.
The main purpose of these discussions is to:
- Determine the cause of death
- Determine if the case needs to be referred to the coroner
- Ensure early detection and notification of any issues of care
What happens next?
Once all discussions have taken place and the Cause of Death agreed the GP will complete the Death Certificate. Family would be advised to contact GP practice at earliest opportunity within practice opening hours. GP Practice will provide any support and guidance needed. Death certificate will be automatically sent to registrar.
A death must be registered within five days at the Gateshead Office of Registrar for Births, Deaths and Marriages. An appointment can be made by either telephoning 0191 433 3028 or booking online via Gateshead Council’s website https://www.gateshead.gov.uk/ selecting:
- People and Living
- Births, deaths, and marriages
- Deaths and funerals
Death Certification Reforms
Death certification reforms came into force across England and Wales with effect from Monday 9th September 2024. Ultimately, this means a death cannot be registered without being signed off by a Medical Examiner (ME) or investigated by the Corner. The Medical Examiner with call you to discuss the certificate’s details.
Once all discussion have taken place and the cause of death agreed, the attending doctor will complete the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD). Families are advised to contact the GP Practice at their earliest opportunity within Practice hours. The GP Practice will provide any support and guidance needed.
A death must be registered within five days of receipt of the completed MCCD at the Gateshead Office of Registrars for Births, Deaths and Marriages. You will be notified by the GP Practice once the death certificate is completed and discussed with the ME. This is sent electronically.
Could we add this QR code where it says help with funeral costs please as well.
Who can register the death?
- A relative of the deceased
- Someone who was present at the death
- A representative of the Hospital
- The person instructing the funeral director
Information Needed for the Registrar
To register the death, you will need to take:
The Medical Certificate of Cause of Death, issued by the hospital doctor or GP in its envelope unopened.
You will also need the following information about the deceased:
- Full names and address (maiden name if appropriate)
- The date and place of death (ward and hospital)
- Date and place of birth
- Occupation and occupation of spouse, if married
- State pension and benefits received – don’t worry if you are not sure
- National Insurance number for the deceased and any surviving widow or widower
- Reference numbers of any passport, driving license or Disabled Blue Badge still in date
- The name and date of birth of any surviving widow or widower
Certificates
The Registrar will give you a green certificate that you should hand to your Funeral Directors as soon as possible. This enables them to proceed with the arrangements. The Medical Death Certificate remains with the Registrar. You will also be given a white certificate which you may need to send to your local Social Security Office. If you need copies for insurance, bank account or other purposes, you may obtain them at a fee from the Registrar.
Unexplained or Sudden Deaths
Unexplained or sudden deaths will need to be referred to the coroner and will be actioned by either a qualifying doctor or police.
The Role of the Coroner
A coroner’s post mortem is carried out in circumstances that include deaths that occur during/after an operation or other medical procedure, or death within 24 hours of admission to hospital. The coroner is an independent official with responsibility under law for the medical legal investigation of certain deaths. He or she is legally obliged to enquire into the circumstances of sudden, unexplained, violent, or unnatural deaths. In certain circumstances, this enquiry may necessitate a post mortem examination. If the coroner directs that a post mortem take place, consent is not required from a parent or next of kin.
In the situation where the coroner has ordered a post mortem, the Medical Certificate will be sent to the Office of the Registrar for Births, Marriages and Deaths. You will still be required to register the death with the Registrar unless an inquest is ordered. The Coroner’s Officer will keep you informed of this process.
If you are uncertain the Funeral Director will know what to do, or you can telephone the Coroner’s Office on (0191) 4838192 (Office hours: 9am – 4pm Monday to Friday).
Organising the funeral
It is recommended that you contact a Funeral Director as soon as possible after the death of your loved one. This can be done before the death certificate has been issued, but after verification of death which can be carried out by qualified nurses, paramedics, and GPs within the community. The undertaker will visit you at home and will help and advise you on the necessary arrangements for the funeral. The telephone directory contains further information on local Funeral Directors, should you need it.
Sometimes a person has expressed a wish or desire in respect of their funeral service and whether they prefer cremation or burial for their eventual place of rest. This preference may be documented in their will.
Burials may take place in a churchyard, local authority, or private cemetery. After a cremation the ashes may either be buried in a churchyard or cemetery or scattered in a Garden of Remembrance or some other favourite place. Please remember that if you wish to use your own garden for this purpose, you may someday want to move house.
Help with funeral costs
If you feel financial help is required, please contact your Social Services Department or Citizens Advice Bureau for further advice. Additional information can be found on Gov.uk website: https://www.gov.uk/funeral-payments. The Funeral Directors may also be able to advise you. See the Government QR code for help.
What if I have a problem or concern?
You may wish to address issues relating to the overall care of the person who has died. The Trust has a Patients Advice Liaison Service (PALS) which can be contacted on 0800 953 0667 should you wish to discuss any concerns with a member of the team or alternatively could be discussed with the GP.
If you wish to raise your concerns through the formal process please contact:
Complaints
Complaints Manager,
Gateshead Health NHS Foundation Trust,
Queen Elizabeth Hospital,
Sheriff Hill,
Gateshead,
Tyne & Wear
NE9 6SX
The Trust takes all issues and complaints very seriously and will pursue a full investigation of any areas of concern that you raise. Leaflets explaining both processes are available at the PALS office and on every ward and department of the hospital.
Improving our service
We constantly strive to improve our service. One of the best ways we can do this is by listening to the view so the people that use it. We understand that this is a difficult time but letting us know how you feel would be really valuable for the future. You may at some point in the next 2-3 months, receive a questionnaire asking to give views about your experience. If you are able, please take the time to complete and return it, we would really appreciate it. Thank you.
May we ask?
In the midst of your grief, may we ask the following of you so that we don’t inadvertently add to your distress:
- If your loved one regularly required an ambulance to attend any hospital or day centre, would you telephone 0191 2151515 and ask to cancel it.
- If your loved one has had the use of hospital or community property e.g., crutches/wheelchairs etc we would be grateful if you would arrange to have them returned to the appropriate centre. Please contact your local nursing team to ask for further assistance in this matter.
- If your loved one had any appointments, healthcare or other, it would be advisable to cancel them as soon as possible, or ask someone to do this on your behalf. Within the hospital we have a local system to do this, but we may be unaware of other appointments form other sources.
- The Bereavement Register can help reduce the amount of mail you receive. Either complete the Bereavement Register leaflet, email: www.thebereavementregister.org.uk or write to: The Bereavement Register, FREEPOST, Sevenoaks, Kent TN13 1YR with the following information:
- Name
- Full postal address
- Date of Birth
- Date of Death
- Death certificate Number (if you have it)
Coming to terms with grief
Whether the death was sudden and unexpected or had been anticipated for some time, the death of a relative or friend can be hard to come to terms with. Grieving is a natural and normal process, and it affects people in different ways. You may experience a mixture of emotions such as numbness and shock, disbelief, guilt and anger and you may not understand what is happening to you.
It may help to share your feelings with a relative or friend who is also feeling the loss. You might also wish to seek the support of a religious representative regardless of your beliefs and that includes the Hospital Chaplain who can put you in touch with an appropriate person of your own denomination.
Hospital Chaplains are available 24 hours a day. The chaplaincy can be contacted via a member of staff, or you can contact them through the hospital switchboard (Telephone 0191 4820000) alternatively if you would like a community staff member to contact them on your behalf, please let them know. The chaplaincy also offers a very informal listening service to those who are bereaved. This is not a religious or long-term counselling service, but it could help you if you wish to talk with someone outside of your immediate circle of family or friends.
There is a Chapel in the Queen Elizabeth Hospital which is located near to The Hub dining room. The Chapel is separate from the Chapel of Rest and may be used for quiet and reflection, whether or not you belong to a particular denomination or faith.
It can take months, even years, to fully grieve the loss of a loved one, but there are a number of organisations that can offer you help, advice, support, and comfort during this painful period.
Everyone will have their own ways of remembering the person who has died. Talk about them, mention their name as often as you can and put the emphasis on the good things that have happened when they were alive.
Most important of all will be your own memories.
Useful numbers
Age UK
Bereavement support for the elderly (50+) in their own homes.
341 High Street, Gateshead.
Barnardo's Orchard Mosaic
For bereavement children and young people (up to age 18)
Citizens Advice Gateshead
The Davison Building,
Swan Street,
Gateshead,
NE8 1BG
Winston's Wish
Support bereaved children, teenagers, and young adults (up to 25)
Weekdays
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